you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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