i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
