its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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