I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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