college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
tell me about the eggs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
