there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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