Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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