So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize