I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
