How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
