thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
