just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
