Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize