Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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