out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
