i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
