So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
