let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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