You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
