im drinking this country out of the recession.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
