Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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