Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
