It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
