I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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