I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
a search helicopter?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
