Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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