4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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