I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They took my balls.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
