i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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