all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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