Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
