I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
