it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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