I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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