Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
this will be a night to untag.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
