To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
