Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
