I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i out mim tonsoeep
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
