exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize