Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize