Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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