apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize