Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
