yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
