didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
