I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
