Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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