Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
