i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
