She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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