I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
