did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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