I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
