There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
