he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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