we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
