how can u be prego again
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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