I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
