i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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