Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
