If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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