Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize