And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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