it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
