You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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