I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Two words: blizzard sex
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
