Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
