try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
