high people should be assigned attendants
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
