He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
time to smoke my breakfast
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
